an experiment around climate mourning

Letting go of this climate prevention ride isn’t easy. I have been sleeping a lot lately, In an attempt to have at least some kind of recovery, mentally, too much, like my head is full of dimethyltryptamine the whole time, like just waking up and your head still feels heavy …the whole time. and what do I get when I do sleep? nightmares of a drowning world. I have been dealing with this climate crap for a decade now, and even I can’t deal with it, to give you an idea. Especially the distance with other people now, almost unable to have a decent talk with anyone any more, the cultural, mental, whateverish difference has become that great … It’s not that I didn’t tried, I had a few talks with some old contacts recently, and they still hammer me with this “old” cultural thoughts, with hits under the belt even, in an attempt for what? They can do whatever they want, all everyone gets from me is my genuine sympathy and compassion, when they act l...

 I just finished this article, my conclusion after a 10 year ride around the climate. It turned out somewhat more refined, not the more rough stuff you find here, raw expressions of my disappointments that I needed expressing to come to this more refined story. It turned out a story around a submarine ride really, for good reason. You can find it on medium here

I'm about to enter the Mayan's capital, wandering around the simple question, what has changed? Except a happening on a world wide scale now? smashing their own habitat, and out of fragmented ignorance turning to the gods for their salvation, be it jesus, or the god of technology, whatever. the rituals being, think positive, constructive, ...while Moloch continues his job. meanwhile crushing critical people that try to fix things, ok, not literally in front of the camera any more, but by isolating them into poverty, madness, isolation, ... just because you don't fit the good news show any more...for one thing. just by not complying to the rules of the game, realizing fully that the rules of the game needed to change to fix this very issue. ... to put it into more milder terms: compare a free society with an engine, with exhaust vents and ventilation shafts/flexibility systems. Society showed signs (starting from the 60-70) to strangle the population ...

I sometimes fantasize around the movie 2012, where these arks were build to save "mankind". And I'm offered a ticket to come along for the ride, or heck, I can even imagine a lottery being organized to "win" a ticket and I got one. Everyone should say yes I guess, including me, till recently. You would have been stuck there with the moral bankrupted (and I'm still being nice) and have to look them in the face the rest of your life. Stuck with people who caused this issue in the first place, and did nothing about it besides saving their own skin. Contemplating about this, this is the very construct around how this whole civiliezation works really, when you trow the aspect money on top of it. I have to say I would use the ticket to juice up one last campfire to dance around really. just another way of saying, this captain is not leaving his ship behind, and maybe, just maybe, we can get back to the very act of living, even if it is for one...

Being a pastafarian, to give you one example, having warm, stale beer is a nightmare for me, I have been doing quite the right thing, only to find out that I have been pissing against the wind, still wondering why I'm soaking wet. To find out our precious society is still not aligned to dealing with this issue, quite the opposit really. Ooh well, maybe it's good for something, like running trough forest fires :-)

ooh boy, the more I put these rattling puzzle pieces together, the more I realize, I have been here before, I knocked it out of the park already, only no one knows it yet. Or to put it into your "fighting" culture for a bit. I warned you guys to stop behaving like a Foreman. My turn peeps :-)

I'm a (micro) climate fighter for about 10 years, And it's only when I lost hope, every puzzle piece fitted quite nicely onto the board, for a change, I'm afraid. I recently took off my designer's clothes, unfortunately even my own skin came with it, my personality got that interwoven with serving humanity, and fixing climate change, and now my bones are rattling these words. just when summer is gone ...great timing, as always :-)